BBG's take on: Failure and Success

I have been singing my whole life and I will be singing my whole life. I am in school to sing and I intend to make a career out of it. This is not because of my great success singing because if I'm completely honest, I have had little success singing in the realm that I want to go into. I really haven't and for a while it was really breaking me. There was a time when I was not improving at all because all of my focus was on how to win and how to be looked upon positively by vocal teachers, but then I realized that it really did not matter.

It does not matter what a choral director thinks of my voice. It does not matter what the judges at NATS or any other solo an ensemble event think of my voice. 

It only matters what I think of my own voice. 

It only matters that I can get to the point where I feel good about what I've done and what I am doing. It only matter that I think that my work is good and that I feel that I am progessing as I should. It only matters that I live out to my own full potential, not someone elses. 

I will not pretend this is easy.

It isn't. This is one of the hardest things to realize for many people and not even I feel this way all of the time, but what matters is that I know it. What matters is that I realize that these are words I should live by. You have to start small though. It starts with "I". For this to work, you must realize what is special to you and about you that drives you to do what you may not be the best at. You must remember that no one is the best at anything. The only best you should and can strive for is your best. No other best matters. 

No words other than your own are important enough to determine your worth.

It sounds conceited to say, but to be satisfied with yourself, you have to remember this. Letting others define you will always make you feel less than brilliant and you are brilliant. Letting others define you changes the place where you draw your worth from. It should be from within. 

What I'm trying to say is...

that your success and failure are determined by you. They aren't defined by how many competitions you win and how many "Superiors" you get at solo and ensemble because you can not numerically determine talent. You can not numerically determine even technique. None of those accolades matter when you have yourself to answer to at the end of the day. Only what you think of you matters.